Ekrem Çulfa Aile Evlilik Çift Danışmanı                  Tel: 0533 373 81 23  E-Posta:ekremculfa@gmail.com

Today, everyone dreams of having a happy and healthy relationship, but many people have problems in their relationships from time to time, cannot find the reasons for the problems they experience and may get into a dead end. This situation both makes the couple despair and disrupts their relationship.

Couples get tired and may unwittingly harm each other and their relationships unnecessarily. As such, I have exposed the fierce enemies of marriage, which can be experienced in every relationship but should be avoided, in the discussion, here are the striking headlines and details:

1- ATTENTION TO THE BRIDE-Mother-in-law SYNDROME!

The bride-mother-in-law problem is one of the leading causes that negatively affect marriage, and this problem affects the married life of the couple much more than they think. The biggest reason for this is prejudice and power struggle. In our country, 70% of women who get depressed and go to a therapist complain about the conflict between the mother-in-law and the bride. One of the biggest mistakes women make in this regard is to have a verbal argument with their mother-in-law, to be hostile, to reduce contact and to put pressure on the spouse in this regard. However, none of these are a solution, on the contrary, knowing the mother-in-law and taking the right steps seems to be the right thing to do so that the couple is not healthy, does not hate each other and does not bring their marriage to the end.

2-DON'T MAKE YOUR BED, DON'T VICTIZE YOUR SEX LIFE TO PUNISHMENT...

Sexual life, which is a source of pleasure and happiness, should not be sacrificed to punishment. Being cold in bed, which is one of the number one punishments that women who are emotionally, physically or sexually hurt, apply to their spouses to get their revenge, is the second reason for ending a marriage. While many women make this restriction without separating their bed, many of them increase the dosage and sentence them to sleep in separate rooms. She forgets that while she imposes this restriction, she also punishes herself. By nature, every person may think that their partner no longer wants them when they experience disruptions caused by anger. This is a harbinger of possible discussions. Because the act of sexual restraint, which is done once to punish, can become a habit over time. For this reason, the couple should not forget that sexual restriction sets the stage for the inevitable end of marriages. Sex is also one of the ways men connect with their inner love and feminine side and express it to their partners. Instead of complaining about it, it's better for women to perceive this difference and unlock men's hearts with sex. Because 'to love' may be one thing, but to know and feel loved is a lot, it is a great wealth.

3- DON'T ALLOW THE EXCITEMENT BETWEEN YOU TO END...

Couples need to do their best to keep the excitement in their marriage relationship. The monotony of the relationship that started with great love and the replacement of sexual desire with sexual reluctance are the third reasons that lead to the end of the marriage. In this case, the biggest mistake couples make is to accept the situation. Instead, the couple should make an effort not to lose the peace in the relationship, engage in joint social activities in order to bring movement to the marriage with small surprises and to spend more time with each other. Surprising seems to be the most important behavior in this process. In addition, it should not be forgotten that love is a fire, that the fire must be fed continuously so that it does not go out, otherwise the fire will become ashes and it is very difficult to ignite the ashes.

4- IT IS ESSENTIAL TO TAKE THERAPY WHEN VIOLENCE APPOSES…

Violence is out of the question and is a violation of human rights. The attack against the woman herself and her personality ranks fourth among the reasons for divorce. In order to prevent violence, which is the direct cause of divorce, it is recommended that the couple seek help from a marriage therapist.

5-THE SEPARATION AND DIVORCE WORDS MUST NOT BE MAILED…

The words separation and divorce should not be chewed. Another reason why marriages are terminated is that words such as 'It's over!', 'Let's break up!', 'Let's get divorced!' are never dropped. Just as it is believed that something will come true after saying it 40 times, using the words of parting all the time can also bring separation. Adding parting phrases to the end of every argument can make the couple unconsciously focus on the separation. For this reason, it is beneficial for the couple to use their energy to overcome the problem instead of ending the relationship.

6- THE ART OF COMMUNICATION CAN BE LEARNED IN TIME…

Communication is an art and this art can be learned over time. Almost every couple complains about not being able to talk and is one of the reasons that ends the marriage. communication problems come. However, communication is an action that is as necessary as drinking water in order to maintain life. Because communication is the biggest factor that helps to establish the solid foundations of the relationship. Communication problems experienced in marriages are when the couple compares each other and their relationship with those around them, interrupts each other or tries to suppress their partner loudly and generalizes. One of the most used sentences of recent times, "I can't find anything to talk about!" is very meaningful in this respect. The couple should share everything they can think of with each other so that the bond between them becomes stronger. Remember, sharing is good!

7- IT IS NEEDED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, INSTEAD OF ESCAPE...

In a marriage relationship, it is necessary to take responsibility instead of avoiding responsibility. One of the difficulties faced by working couples is to put the burden of marriage on one side. Having to do housework, childcare, shopping or paying bills on one side can be extremely stressful and infuriating. This is reflected in the marriage and can cause the marriage bond to break. What needs to be done here should be to jointly do the work to be done without discriminating between men and women.

8- YOU SHOULD NOT BE OBVIOUS ABOUT STRENGTH…

You should not be stubborn about being stubborn. It is a common situation for a person to put pressure on the other side under the name of obstinacy in order to impose his own dominance. This is a move that causes the couple to cool off from each other and leads to the emergence of indifference. This situation will cause war in the house and it is the eighth important enemy of marriage. However, in marriages, from time to time, the woman should have the say, and from time to time, the man should have the say.

9-Jealousy IS LIKE SPICE, FEW ARE DECISIONS, MOST DAMAGES…

Jealousy is like a spice, a little decision, a lot of harm. The feeling of jealousy, which is revealed by the fear of losing what he has, can be pathological and can negatively affect the marriage and the mental health of the couple. Jealousy can arise with an emotion that the person has inside, or it can develop as a result of the thoughtless act of the spouse. Due to pathological jealousy, the person can alienate his spouse from the house and himself by acting suspiciously, can have serious arguments with the defensive spouse, and bring the marriage to the point of disintegration. The thing to do in this situation seems to be to be calm, patient, open and clear. However, jealousy is like a spice, just as a little spice adds flavor to the food and the excess makes it inedible, just as jealousy keeps the relationship warm in its dose and cools it when the dose is exceeded.

10-FRAUD IS A ROAD ACCIDENT…

Infidelity, which is a road accident, is one of the leading causes of marriage. Instead of retaliating, suppressing emotions, hitting the face, and diving into details when cheating occurs, the wisest approach is to be able to ask, “What has cheating taught me?” and seek help from a marriage therapist.

If you are experiencing any serious problems in your relationship, family or marriage, you should seek professional support. If you say "I let the meadow go, Allah favors", you will be doing great harm to our understanding of trust and the future of your relationship by acting unprofessionally. For your questions, you can write or call me on my whatsapp +905447243650 line.

DON'T LET FAMILIES disperse, HOMES DOWN !!!