Ekrem Çulfa Aile Evlilik Çift Danışmanı                  Tel: 0533 373 81 23  E-Posta:ekremculfa@gmail.com

 We are trying to find an answer to the question of why suicide and suicide attempts have become a topical issue in recent days. Research shows that it is incorrect to attribute suicide to a single risk factor. Risk factors include age, trauma, aggression, incest, genetic factors, family conflicts, and so on. can be shown.

Suicidal ideation occurs in 90% of people suffering from depression and psychiatric disorders. People in the 18-24 age group are more prone to suicide. Currently, the number of suicides among children and adolescents is increasing.

Therefore, parents should take their children's psychological condition as seriously as their biological health. But, unfortunately, observations show that a psychologist is consulted as a last resort.

For example, one parent complained about his psychological condition after his teenager committed suicide. When asked the reason for his son's suicide, he said he did not know why it happened. He said that I was at work and could not come home and spend time with him. I never knew what was wrong. The parents cried out that they could not forgive their son for his suicide.

It is the parent's indifference not to see or notice the change that is taking place in the teenager who is suicidal. The problem is not with the child but with the parent. The point here is not to blame the parent. It is a matter of accepting and correcting his wrong approach. This means that the child is not properly treated, and the parent-child relationship has already become toxic. There are many similar facts. Today, many parents have difficulty communicating with their children.

If there is no normal communication with the child in the family, if he is silenced with the attitude "you are a child, sit down, you can't do it", then he closes himself. Parents do not see the negative changes in their children, and this, unfortunately, sometimes leads to a tragic end. Parents should communicate with their children in such a way that the child can share any difficulties and difficulties with them without hesitation. Because in many cases children or teenagers are afraid to share their thoughts with their parents.

Sometimes, even when children demonstrate that they are going to kill themselves, parents do not take it seriously and see it as a whim to attract attention. In fact, parental indifference is unacceptable in such cases. This indicates that the relationship with the child in the family is toxic. A parent should take into account that one day he may realize this idea in order to punish his loved ones.

In my experience, a parent may not let his teenager out of the house to avoid bad habits. The teenager went to school in the morning and returned in the evening when it got dark. This caused serious dissatisfaction at home. The situation has even reached the point of violence against children. In this case, of course, the child will look for the presence, understanding, love that he does not see at home. Worst of all, the child already expresses his feelings with the words "I hate my parents."

Parents should monitor their children regularly and consult a psychologist in case of any disturbing situations. For example, decreased daily activity, unauthorized leaving or running away from home, changing habits, listening to sad music, reading death literature, isolating oneself from people, abuse of psychoactive substances, drugs, alcohol, and so on. cases such as use.

Every day, more than a thousand young people try to commit suicide. This crisis period manifests itself in several ways. Shyness or extreme complacency, very quick-tempered or rude, fanaticism and self-consciousness. Such young people have self-forgetfulness, alienation, depression and suicidal behavior.

According to Erickson, the main problem of teenagers is to integrate themselves into society. If there are fractures in the process of national identity, there is a complex of imperfections, aimlessness, escape from life, which is the way out. Those who cannot see themselves in society, then find a way out in alcohol and drugs.

The use of psychoactive substances allows young people to feel comfortable, in their opinion. Teenagers who commit suicide unknowingly harm their health. Then they regret it. The wing of death can pass in a short time. The younger the teenager, the more negative behavior is observed. Self-directed aggression then turns into blackmail-style suicides. The main problems in adolescents manifest themselves in the form of not overcoming difficulties, not ending stress, not being able to tolerate loneliness. Feelings of helplessness, weakness, and despair predominate. In this case, suicidal behavior is confusing with parents, along with alcohol and drugs. It also depends on the person. In addition, they are ridiculed by their peers, do not study well, fail a successful teenager, fail to live up to their parents' expectations, and imitate other suicidal people. Some teens try to commit suicide during depression. When you can't overcome adversity, thoughts like unhappiness and loneliness prevail. Violence is also a major cause of suicide. Feelings of humiliation can sometimes lead to suicide.

Suicides are more common among 15-16-year-old demonstrators, who are not shy, do not hide their feelings, and behave convincingly. They choose safe methods of suicide so that their loved ones can help them. Sometimes the cause of suicide is unrequited love. But the main reason is to renew their lost status and be in the spotlight. The main motto of such a teenager is "whatever". I also came across a situation where a teenager cut his wrist with a razor in class to gain the love and attention of the class. According to him, in this case, his classmates will feel sorry for him and make friends. The teenager had chosen the wrong direction to accept himself.

In order to prevent suicides, the factors arising from social incompetence must first be investigated and distorted beliefs must be identified. Negative self-esteem, negative perception of the environment, negative view of the future must be changed. Circumstances that cause stress through self-observation should be identified and eliminated.

Self-esteem is about seeing oneself as real and creating ideas for an optimistic future, gifting oneself for every positive step, and making oneself happy. Participating in social skills training is aimed at recognizing negative and positive emotions. He learns to anticipate each problem, to understand it, to find a way out and to see the result in advance. It is important to have a healthy lifestyle, balance the sleep system, positive thinking habits, use books to enrich the inner world, strengthen empathy to activate communication. It is also important to take Individual Crisis Therapy and Group Crisis Therapy during suicide.

Parents should keep in mind that children experience certain characteristics and problems in each period. The important thing is to know them in advance and instill in them to fight. Attention should be paid to the adolescent's extramarital affairs. People around him should be kept in mind. It is also impossible to control the activity on the social network. Parents should treat their children with love. They should appreciate their success and support their self-confidence. It is necessary to spend time with children, learn their knowledge and skills, interests and provide the necessary support for their development in this direction. The parent must always feel that he is with his child, but he must also be able to release him if necessary.

Psychological or physical violence against children should never be tolerated. Parents should not humiliate their children, ridicule them, or use nicknames. He should listen to his son's views and take his objections into account when making decisions. We need to allow them to express themselves. Most important, parents should allow their children to behave according to their age. This approach has a positive effect on their psychology.

Ekrem Chulfa, Clinical Psychologist Pedagogue

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